Shaming the dead.

Last night before bed, I was browsing Facebook and came across a post from a friend, who I have never met in person.

The post was in regard to the recent passing of Anthony Bourdain and the post had a picture of him from one of his publications. So I looked at and was appalled.

This was a post celebrating the death of “another animal killer”. Ok, now anyone who has watched his shows knew his views on vegan/vegetarians. Yes, he made fun and yes did not hesitate to say such things as “you can only eat so many of the same salad”.

My response to this post was to think about a man who brought the world into the living rooms of millions. A man who showed great respect for the people who invited the into a glimpse of their lives.

Someone then responded with “he clubbed a seal” and I left this conversation.

If I had wanted to continue down the rabbit hole and get sucked into the responses I would have said “did he club his seal in his apartment in New York?” Was he in the middle of the street in LA and shot a pig? Trust there is a point I am making.

Anthony Bourdain participated in the practices of people who he was visiting. The anthropological term is called Participant Observation. In Anthropology one learns about acceptance of cultural practices which may be different from our own.

This also basically taught to us as children. The do onto others as we would want done to us. In a nutshell, it is being respectful.

So, imagine you are in the jungle and your host is cooking a bat. One you participated in hunting. A plate is given to you with this animal on it and your host has the biggest smile on their face. What would you do? Would you politely decline even though the preparation for this meal took hours and is in your honor?

In the jungle, there are no second options. No salad to offer. Which is what Bourdain was trying to convey.

Yes, there are wonderful vegan/vegetarian dishes in the world, and even he would try them and like them.

But sitting down with people who do not have the option to say no to a meal because of moralistic beliefs is something to think about.

Suddenly non-vegetarian: Dilemmas in anthropological fieldwork

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Why is needing help so Taboo?

Last Thursday, I attended my first Therapy Session.
I decided to go to therapy for very obvious reasons. My mother had basically stolen my niece and I am mad as hell.

Not only mad, but a great deal of anger, confusion and betrayal.

For 36 years, I have had a mother who get mad for no reason, give you the silent treatment while you begged for answers, and cancel plans with the only explanation being “Because”.

I kept a lot of this “under the rug” growing up. While my friends had mothers who were supportive, understanding and easy to be around, mine was ducking behind corners when asked “where is your mom tonight?”

So I came home last Thursday from my first session and already the shackles of the past were breaking away. The euphoria of someone understanding what I was going through was like early morning sunlight beaming into my heart.

Then,on Friday morning, a man I admired passed away.

Anthony Bourdain took his own life. I have been a fan of since his first show. His life seemed perfect with the stamped pages of his passport to prove it.

If my Dad were still alive, they would have been the same age. So process that.

Bourdains words have carried me into the jungle and gave relief when leeches were latching on and nervousness of traveling alone tried to creep in.

His advice was like that of a Father’s and he was in fact a Dad to a young girl.

I am not going to try to understand why or dissect every interview, show and writing of his, and yes there are quite of a few doing this.

To me, I lost a friend, and I am in mourning. This man was more than a famous face. He inspired many, like myself to live life, see the world and don’t give a damn about others judgments.

Catch up and keep going

Hello everyone,

So I have not been as committed to this blog as I have wanted to be.

A lot has been going on, personally and with family so my focus was on those things.

So to recap what has been going. I visited Mexico City again in April. The last time I was there was in October 2015 with my sister. When the time and air fare (amazing deal) fit together, I had to go.

I was part of two amazing tours. One of the markets and food tour, the other was Cantinas, Lucha Libre and Mariachi in Garibaldi Square.

I highly recommend checking these and the other incredible tours given by Mexico City Urban Adventures. You can read more about them on TripAdvisor or on their website.

I will post the link to their site as well as TripAdvisor at the end.

I also did a bunch of sight seeing on my own. Thank You Uber for existing!

I toured Frida Kahlo’s home again, the Museum of Anthropology, markets and allowed myself to get a little lost. (don’t worry, google maps was on) 🙂

I met some very sweet people including a woman whose grandmother started the restaurant she now runs, this was where I had black fungus corn. I know it sounds disgusting, but trust me, it isn’t.

My guide for both of the tours was a great guy named Roo. He has so much knowledge and is very easy going and fun.

Mexico City is one of my favorite places. There is so much beauty, flowers and tequila, oh and you MUST try the mezcal.

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g150800-d4359413-Reviews-Mexico_City_Urban_Adventures-Mexico_City_Central_Mexico_and_Gulf_Coast.html

https://www.urbanadventures.com/destination/Mexico-City-tours

India!

So, my last blog entry was quite a while ago and a lot has gone on.

To begin, India was great. Although, I did have three massive migraines while there, but long story short, that has been remedied and I feel great.

If you have the chance to visit India, DO IT! DO IT PLEASE! Do not be afraid because of what a few may have experienced. If we allowed fear and uncertainty to rule our lives, just think about what we may miss out on.

I had the honor of attending a wedding in Bangalore. Three days of festivities and celebration, plus amazing outfits, henna and meeting the nicest people.

Thank You to the beautiful bride and groom for allowing me to be a part of their wedding. I will never forget it!

My welcome home from India was Fall in full force! Which included a new and spectacular view to wake up to in our new home.:)

What I wouldn’t give for that instead of snow, which is continuing to fall as I write this.

Pictures such as these though will keep my spirits high.

New home, new town and new country to visit.

I put my blog on pause while my husband and I were in the process of purchasing our new home.

For over ten years, we have rented in the city of Pittsburgh. While I love the closeness and convenience of markets, acupuncture and Thai food, I am excited for this new chapter in our lives.

Our new home is nestled in the woods. Deer munch on leaves in our backyard as our cats, full of curiosity watch in wonder.

Along with unpacking, we are adjusting to life in our new town.

An evening drive through Murrysville has the haunting feel of mystery. Venturing around in the daytime, you get to see houses decorated with pumpkins and scarecrows for the season.

A few months ago, my husband purchased a ticket to India for me as an early birthday present.

I will not be traveling alone though, but with a few wanderlust women from a travel group I am a part of.

We will dine, shop and see the sights as well as attend a wedding!

So many changes, I still can not believe I wake up to the calm of the leaves and sunshine in the trees.

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

Continue reading

Each night after work, Luke and I have been packing.

The going through what to keep is well annoying. A friend of mine told me “Hold each object for at least two minutes, then you will be able to tell if you you are meant to keep it.”

That’s fine and all, but we would both be dead at the end.

Moving brings out nostalgia. Memories of times with family and friend. Parties and in my case hideous chicken wallpaper, I tore down during my birthday.

You reflect on those who have moved away, and those who are right down the street but still feels like worlds apart.

I lived in this house for over eight years. The second longest, after the home I grew up in.

Attachment to a place comes from connection and the pieces you put on the shelves and walls, like I lovingly placed which belonged to my Dad and my grandparents.

There have been ice jigs in the kitchen, cookouts on the porch and a dance party or two.

Time and places may fade, but memories remain the same.

Seeing the world through young eyes

While I was growing up, vacations were not really on priority list of my parents.

If they had been perhaps life would have taken a different turn…

As an adult, I never let the chance to experience a new place slip by.

Last month, we took a family vacation to a beach none of us had ever been to.

This time will have a special spot in my heart forever.

To be able to play in the waves, see dolphins, explore together and see my niece and nephew play together well it was magical.

When you pack up to leave and embark on facing reality, you take more than the memories. Sometimes there may still be sand in the book you enjoyed or seashells stuffed in a pocket.

Our last night there, my nephew Jack made a speech, a toast you may say about our first family vacation together.

“We tried something new, and we all had a good time.”

uncle luke and haze on the beach