Confirmations and Togetherness

The past few days have been trying on the mind and heart.  As planning and confirmations begin to come in I was faced with dealing with some hard personal issues.

My grandmother passed away on Friday afternoon, she and I were not close which has always been difficult to understand.

Over the years I have come to the understanding that Family do not need to be those you are related to.

I spent this beautiful morning on my dear friends porch, drinking tea and talking. I left with big hugs and a heart full of love.

In the wild, female elephants spend their lives together.  Grandma, Auntie and Mother all have a part in raising the little ones.

When elephants are taken to sanctuaries some have difficulty recreating this bond with the other elephants.  Many overcome the shyness and bonds are formed, others though sadly can not forget their painful past and prefer to be alone.

I feel a connection to these elephants who try to find a family when there is no more.  There are many reasons to break away from relatives, whether by force or painful choice.

I dedicate this entry to my Grandma, Joyce Allison.

As you release this butterfly in honor of me,
know that I’m with you and will always be.

Hold a hand, say a prayer,
close your eyes and see me there.

Although you may feel a bit torn apart,
please know that I’ll be forever in your heart.

Now fly away butterfly as high as you can go,
I’m right there with you more than you know.

By Jill Haley

 

Meant to do

Today I spent the day researching, reading, making lists and some writing.

I read about two victims who lost their lives because of mankind. I share these images and yes they are hard to see. In fact, there also videos which after viewing I had to walk away, cry and come back to the table.

As I sit here and continue to stare at these elephants with spectators mulling around them, I wonder about their stories.

What does one think at the sight of cruelty? Especially if you have contributed?

This matters to me, and if I can make a difference, all time, money and work towards this trip are the foundations for change.

Stories need to be told.

Research is a journey. Travel it well.

When I attended a Anthroplogy conference in Denver last year,  i picked up a cloth bag with this phrase above it.  I liked the saying and thought nothing more about it.

Those words though hold so much truth, whether done at the computer, library or in the field.  Each piece of information is knowledge and with knowledge comes wisdom and power.

The days are going by, faster and faster it seems (to me) till I embark on this great journey.

There have been some changes along the way,  including the decision to change on location to another. The new one just spoke to me and I look forward to all I will learn, observe, see and do.

image

Looking for work so I may Do.

Since I committed myself to this trip have I ever hesitated or reconsidered.

The cost, sacrifice and hard work would not be so hard, and then reality slammed into me.

First off, I get THE job, I was sure would be perfect to make and save the funds.

Then, I got hurt and the job I do have couldn’t have me work alone so cut my hours.

So I have been searching for a second even third job, but as soon as they see that cast…its over.

I sit tonight at my computer and look at pictures of Mo Mo, the book  The Elephants’ Voice is to the left of me.  I purchased it at almost two years ago as a memento.

“Allow your wound to be your teacher”

As I budget, crunch, apply and prove myself to this trip I know all will be as it is meant to be.

Just keep thinking about them, and her.